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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Nearly 5 months

Nearly 5 months have gone by since my last blog post and a lot has happened. We bought a house, and moved into it. It was a short sale that we got a very good deal on. We decided to get a single story house because we didn't want to have to deal with insane electricity bills come summer, and I have to say that I'm very happy with our house.

I've been thinking about a turn of phrase that people say lately. "Easy to please." Some people say it like it's something to be ashamed of, but I can't think of any reason why that would be a bad thing (unless EVERYTHING pleases you.) When my husband and I first married I was making him a batch of chocolate chip cookies to take with him on the plane for a business trip. We didn't have an electric mixer and he had the brilliant idea of having me use a blender. I looked at him like he was crazy (rightfully so!) and showed him it didn't work. He thought I broke the VitaMix and I cleaned out the blender, then mixed the cookies by hand. When he came home from his trip he said he had a gift for me and pulled out a hand mixer. I was so touched, it was a really thoughtful gift. Someone told me that it was a crap gift, why was I so happy with it, and I couldn't figure out why they would say those things. I didn't expect the gift and I surely didn't think it was crap. Regardless of how much money said mixer cost, he thought of me while he was on his trip and saw something that he knew I wanted, and needed. I still have that mixer today.

I hear stories of women that are completely hard to please and I feel bad for their marriages. Now, hear me out, I'm not saying that I'm so above them, or that they're stupid, I just think their attitudes are poor. It seems like their husbands can do nothing right and I can't imagine that would be a happy marriage. Some women are so focused on the physical things their spouses bring to the table that they overlook the emotional things their spouses bring, or that their spouses have feelings at all. I know a woman who hates her husband, has given him permission to have an affair because she's not having sex with him, but she won't divorce him because she doesn't want to lose her house (and at the same time she tries to get uppity with me and lecture me about marriage. It would be amusing if it weren't so damn sad.) Awhile back she was upset because he didn't ask her how a doctors appointment went when she thought she had cancer. She didn't, but she spent more time than she should have stewing about the fact that her husband hadn't asked how the appointment went. Perhaps her husband emotionally checked out of the marriage when he was told that he could have an affair? Perhaps he was giving her space to cope with the news that he assumed was bad because she didn't dance through the door singing, "It's NEGATIVE!" (Which is TOTALLY something I would do.) I'm not sure how, or if it's even possible, for her to get back to a good marriage with her husband, but thinking of her, and the way that she speaks about her husband, makes me so glad that my husband is who he is.